I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”
BEST GRANDMA STORY
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
This is literally my fourth or fifth time reblogging this.
It’s still hillarious.
One of my favorite lines
I kinda feel like the writers wrote this line specifically to drive the kind of fans who want to figure out how sci-fi tech would theoretically work crazy. They’re like “nope! We’re not going to give you any techno babble to tear apart or investigate or mull over to tell us how we’re doing it wrong, or how it compares in effectiveness to similar tech in other franchises.”
I also feel like this is one of those times when the TARDIS’s translation circuit just gave the fuck up. Like the ‘physics physics physics’ scene, where he is imparting secrets of the universe and the TARDIS is like THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THIS IN ENGLISH DAMN IT DOCTOR OH HELL FUCK IT.
OH MY GODS she TOTALLY edits his speech. I be he actually swears a fuckton but the TARDIS is like THERE ARE CHILDREN
you mean Jack Harkness?
Pretty much explains the 10th & 11th doctor’s speech patterns alot actually
Liz Climo on Tumblr.
this really cheered me up
i think we’re out of ink
have you tried turning it on and off again
Who killed a Leviathan in your office?
I find it really interesting that the historical men like Vincent Van Gogh, Winston Churchill and Richard Nixon portrayed in Moffat Who are always three dimensional and treated respectfully, while the historical women like Elizabeth the First and Nefertiti, are always love sick dolls drooling over the Doctor.
It almost seems like Moffat cannot take women seriously, even if they ruled nations.
The Game of Life.
oh my god
what an interesting way to look at things.
lifes a gamble
and death always wins
because death has nothing to lose
Or maybe because Death’s a cheating whore look at that fuck hiding cards under his bony ass
Hands down, one of my favorite pieces ever.
You can’t cheat death.. But that doesn’t mean death can’t cheat you
↖ This person is a multi-shipper and doesn’t support shipping wars.
SHIP WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE FOR NOT SHIPPING IT TOO
JUST BE POLITE ENOUGH TO TAG YOUR SHIPS. YOU WILL LOSE LESS FOLLOWERS THAT WAY!
You win this round cheese
actually that is a rectangle cheese
[oxford comma laughing in the distance]
[vocative comma wondering what oxford comma thinks it’s doing here]
I already reblogged this for the pun but I’m reblogging again for the sick punctuation banter
none pizza with left beef
It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef
ive missed you
#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)
I love None Pizza with Left Beef.